8.24.2008

I'm Ready.

It's Sunday and I just got home. I left at about 4:00 P.M. yesterday for Raul's birthday party, had a pretty crazy night, and went to a ton of stores today with the friends. The only thing is that I start college tomorrow and I am not prepared at all. I don't have any books, my school I.D, or supplies. I don't even have a backpack!

The weird thing is; I'm not stressing at all.

For a long time I stressed about everything. I'm serious, EVERYTHING. Every single decision in my life could only be carried out after many hours of contemplation, and even then I would still worry about all of the minute repercussions of my actions. I couldn't talk to a girl without first analyzing all the possible ways in which I could be rejected, humiliated, or embarrassed. Living my life like that has led me to a lot of regrets, but I think I'm ready to change all that. It's not that I'm being irresponsible, I just want to stop stressing out about things. I want to change the way I live. I want to go with the flow. I feel like I can still balance my priorities while letting go of all the things that worry me. So even though my first class starts in approximately 12 hours, and I don't have any idea what to expect, I'm not stressing.

Fuck it, I'm ready.
I'm Carlos, a 19 year old design student from Torrance, California.