So I turned 19 the other day, and it sure got me thinking.
19! Most people see their 18th birthday as the gateway to their future. I was too caught up with prom/AP's/finals/graduation to even realize that I had hit a milestone.
But now I'm 19.
I mean, I'm a full blown adult now, drinking privileges aside. The problem with that is that I'm not sure I'm prepared to handle the responsibilities that come with adulthood. I have the basics down, but there are certain minutiae that still irk me. While I'm not particularly daunted by the future uncertainties I will surely face, I feel like I'm not on track to adjust to them. Deep inside, hiding under all the machismo and bravado, is a kid, one that is still scared of the real world, no matter how much confidence I think I exude. I don't know why. I feel like I'm behind and I have much to catch up on. Thankfully, I still have three(maybe more -_-) years of college left. Three more years to learn, to grow, to adjust. Three more years until I step into the "Real World". I hope these three years will act as a formative phase, one that will see me emerge as a man, my own being, and the person I will be for the rest of my life.
But I am lazy.
Instead of stacking my sandbags, I prefer to reminisce on my past. Senior Year. Highschool. Being a care-free teenager. Hanging with my friends, neighbors, neighbor's friends, friend's neighbors. Generally not giving a fuck. Childhood. Always the procrastinator, I force myself to mature. While it will not be easy, I am positive that I will come through. I am ready now, or at least I think I am. Only time will tell. Soon I will rub off the "teenager" stamp on my forehead and replace it with a big fat "adult" one. Hopefully in Impact, size 64.
- ► 2010 (29)
- ▼ May (5)